I tell myself it doesn't really matter, but it's slowly starting to. Like, i'm understandable and everything but i'm also needing. It's lacking and I'm at the age where it totally sucks. Cause for a guy, it's different unfortunately.
I'm at the stage now though where I don't even care anymore and don't even bother thinking about it because thinking about it is useless and there's no point ever going there. It's just shit and whatever but whatever exactly. But deep down, I do care. And it sucks tbh. But i wouldn't go against any wishes. It just sucks for me,  that's all. And it won't stop sucking until who knows when.